Wall

Yesterday I met up with K at Crawley. It was the first climbing session for about three weeks where I felt I made any progress, though I don't think I'm back where I was 4 weeks ago yet. It's a bit hard to judge because I became even more aware of being scared of coming off when I would swing. This fear exacerbates my weight being too far out and restricts movement so I find it hard to assess how I would be without it.

Had the usual discovery, several times, that moves that looked hard being in fact very easy once I actually made them.

Towards the end I decided I'd like to work on a 5 that went the full height of the wall. I picked one on the main, middle section, where most of the routes are harder, and which overhangs, so that I could also work on the fear of swinging thing. There was another pair just to our right whose route would be amongst mine about half way up, and at that level there was also a clip (the routes there are mainly used for leading). Kevin talked about how the clip would be a problem but I was sure I wouldn't get that far up anyway. As it turned out, I would have- the route went well, felt challenging but good - and by then I'd got not idea how to deal with it and felt awkward about being in their way. This was just an excuse because they were still both on the ground. But my mind was expecting to go down before then so I did. Even so I'm chuffed with the effort. I decided to make that a bit of a project now. I also got up a 5+ and two other 5s but they were shorter. K did very well indeed and got up a 6b, with a huge effort (it also was shorter).

Better

Yesterday evening I climbed with V. This was the second time we'd met up. I was nervous about it. She's better than I am, and a lot slimmer, and I feel a bit lumbering beside her. Even my extra height, clearly an advantage for climbing (at our size), makes me feel awkward. I had badly wanted to be better than before when I saw her this time and I was sure I wouldn't be. We got on pretty well last time but I had a feeling maybe she'd been looking for someone more as a mentor.

I was there before she was and the next good thing was that we both recognised each other. The wall was the busiest I've seen it (when I booked in, they asked if I was with the club; dunno which; East Grinstead?) We settled in at the only free rope in the whole place, having not even looked at the grades, and she set off up what we thought was the easiest route. It wasn't and she found it tough. I looked at the grades and did the easier one, which was a 5, after a bit of faff. She had a go at the third route, then I tried the 6a she'd been on and after a lot of faff got about - I think it's fair to say half way. My best effort at that grade anyway (it wasn't the full wall at K2 though).

We moved on to another rope, climbed more, talked more. I got all the way up a 4 that I didn't manage last time, and found it easier than I remember - a lot easier. As it should be frankly but it's interesting. Tried the 6a on there and got nowhere. V was really helpful.

We got on much better this time. IMO, anyway. I was chuffed. Better all round.

Odds and ends

It snowed overnight but I didn't go out in it today. Not like me really but I'm coddling myself in the hope of shifting a cold so that I can feel OK about running again.

Yoga - went well; wonder when I'll be able to drop into plank instead of putting my knees down, but I think other forms of practice will be better for getting to that.

Must start doing the "5 mins" sections of pilates each day - they'll take me a lot longer than that to learn but once I know them they'll get quicker. Not macho stuff but effective.

I found a new climbing blog I loved yesterday but my comment isn't appearing on it. Either he hasn't seen it or my face doesn't fit.

This coming week is looking good:
Monday: climbing with B, hopefully
Weds: film and so on in London
Thurs: climbing with K
Fri: climbing with new UKC lady. I *really* hope that works out but either way it's another session.

Failed

Well. Yes I remember this feeling.

I went to Crawley today to find that their auto-belay had been removed to be serviced. This is good though, I thought, because it will oblige me to focus on bouldering, which I'm determined to get to grips with.

So I put my shoes on and went over. I set off on the only route (problem) I know, got as far up as before - near the top - and was equally foxed, although a lot more secure as I contemplated my foxedness. I did manage to climb down rather than fall. The move up from there looks like something I'll definitely fall on and I'm about 8 feet up by then; I'm very heavy on my feet, no natural bounce, and I'm concerned I'll just sprain an ankle as I go down. Very likely, I'd say.

So I tried another route near it with exactly the same result. It was nice to find it, and to manage to start from sitting down, but I don't feel ok doing challenging moves above head height without a harness. [Later I spoke to Peak district guy about this who said you just learn how to fall. So I have to learn.]

Then I moved over to the other end of the wall where I knew there were more warm-up routes. I found one. It overhangs. I could see 2 starting holds about 3 inches off the ground, and two more very small ones about 2 feet higher up - but above that it was huge rounded things you squeeze - and overhanging - and there were 2 of these, one a few feet above another. Not a chance. I couldn't even work out which way round to start.

So I ended up leaving after less than 15 minutes. I felt awful. Such a pathetic failure. I hate the feeling of not so much failing as not even working out how to start. And I'm determined that I will include bouldering because I'm sure it's going to help, precisely because I'm so weak at it.

I've got to find a way in, but I couldn't see how. I'd tried having people around, and that felt bad because they were all very advanced and I felt I'd get in their way. But having nobody around didn't work either because I need to ask - well, how to do it. At least I need to watch (which is how I found out how the first route worked).

I do love a smooth, apparently impossible conundrum, and my mind ferreted away at it, trying to find a way in. Really I want some sort of Introduction to it. Then I remembered that when I was on the Beginners' Course at Redhill for roped climbing, one of they guys doing it had climbed previously at a place that only did bouldering. I thought that they must (very likely) have some sort of entry thing, which obviously would be geared up to beginners at that.

The solution is not to think I should be any good at bouldering because I can now climb just a bit, but to see it as something totally new.

I found the place on the net - Craggy Island's Sutton site - and not only do they have a one hour intro thing, they also have the place split into 3 rooms by standard, so the Easy folks (children mainly I think) are separated off from the others which will give me somewhere less intimidating to learn the basics. Maybe I shouldn't need that but - meh - when I'm good (by my standards) at bouldering and it's helping and supporting my other climbing, I won't care how I started.

Oh and the wall rang to say I forgot my shoes at Crawley.

Then in the late evening I did yoga and weights. It went really well and I'm sure now that I'm getting stronger.

Bug

Still ill with a bug so I didn't run (I know this would sound a cop-out to many people). Brief walk instead, bit of yoga but no salutations. Really need to allow more time for it though even if I'm not doing them. Then some weights - again v briefly but I'm convinced there's a benefit already. Received wisdom would say this was far too soon.

Thinking of using the car tomorrow for a stint in Crawley.

Another message from the guy in the Peak district which pleases me.

Spoke to my parents on the phone, inc my father about climbing. I wonder what he'd make of my current standard. I remember a few months ago he said there was basically no point in my trying. I doubt he'd see it that way now - in fact I know he doesn't.

C was off to Scotland for the weekend. Vicarious tension and excitement about that.

The social side

Today I went to the wall to climb with K and shortly after he got there, another guy came over to climb with us also. I'd met him before but never for more than a few minutes. He comes to Redhill about once a week I gather and tends to climb there on spec, and twice a week with a regular partner at K2.

The most difficult thing about climbing for me is my social awkwardness in certain situations. Away from climbing I'm not a shy person really and I'm not used to having to deal with it. I felt surplus this evening. I went over to consider bouldering but it was really crowded so I came back. We ended up climbing as a three. He was heavy (18 stone) so we used a ground-anchor; K didn't like using that so I belayed C each time. He's been climbing as an adult for 18 months; seems to climb up to 6b. He chats as he belays and doesn't watch as closely as K or I would but I know many more experienced climbers are similar. He fought quite hard on some routes and trusted my belaying, both of which I admired. He seemed to be able to use either strength or footwork/features but not both on the same route though; interesting.

I found it hard - impossible - to take as long as I normally would on repeated attempts at things because, climbing as a three, there is less time. Also I felt awkward at my low level although less so than I did a few months ago. I know I need to get less thin-skinned. It's nice to enjoy it socially but that's not the main reason for my going. I am particularly frustrated beause I'd made a plan of things I wanted to work on as per the 9 out of 10 climbers book, but having an extra person there threw me so I didn't do the work I intended to. But new people are good in themselves and there will be loads of other times to implement that.

He had climbed the local outdoors area and explained the set-up there to me, which book he found helpful, how it worked. Useful.

I got up the supposed, v short, 6b again but got spat off a 5 I did last week with B. Was too shy to push for more time. Had a good think about the purple at the end which has a rope on it again finally; I get up that much better now though not to the top. Managed to repeat another 5 from last week.

K said he'd like to go along if I go to Sandstone with D (who I met a few weeks ago). I think I'll go alone with him the first time and go with K separately, maybe after I get my own rope. I'll talk to K about this.

I'm also determined to spend some time bouldering when it's quiet some time.

I know that very soon these tricky social moments will be in the past. I nearly left at one point early this evening - well not that nearly, did manage to keep toys in pram.

It takes all sorts, and I won't let myself get all socially spineless when there's climbing to be enjoyed. More effort to be put in next time.